This Birthday Gift is...

I first began blogging at Posterous. Since they are shutting down in April, I decided to move the few posts I had on that site to this blog. This was originally posted September 28, 2009.

 

PERFECT!!!

My friends Troy and Carmen sent this box of goodies to me for my birthday. It was so cool to unwrap each gift and giggle before moving on to the next one. I think my favorite is the shot glass that says "I'm perfect. You change." I howled with laughter when I saw that! I'm glad my friends love me even if I'm a perfectionist. Of course, the LolCats book will keep me laughing for days. Those kitties crack me up!

Thanks to my friends for making me feel special! Love you guys! Muwah!

Nightmare

 I first began blogging at Posterous. Since they are shutting down in April, I decided to move the few posts I had on that site to this blog. This was originally posted September 1, 2009.

I had the most horrific nightmare last night. All day, the images have invaded my mind. I can't forget it. I hope it doesn't mean anything and I certainly hope it doesn't come true. I can't bear the thought of going to bed tonight and having it again. Maybe I'll sleep on the sofa with the T.V. on all night. I just want the images to stop.

Beer Margarita





I first began blogging at Posterous. Since they are shutting down in April, I decided to move the few posts I had on that site to this blog. This was originally posted August 24, 2009.

 



Ingredients

1 lime, cut into 8 wedges

1/4 cup coarse salt

2-12 ounce bottles of beer (I use Michelob Ultra Lime & Cactus)

1/2 cup frozen concentrate limeade, thawed

1/2 cup chilled tequila

ice cubes

Instructions

Rub lime wedges around rims of 4 glasses. Dip rims into salt to coat lightly. In a medium pitcher, combine beer, limeade and tequila. Fill prepared glasses with ice, then with margarita mixture. Garnish with remaining lime wedges. Serve immediately.

Perfectionism, Be Gone!



I first began blogging at Posterous. Since they are shutting down in April, I decided to move the few posts I had on that site to this blog. This was originally posted August 22, 2009.

 



I always thought being a perfectionist was a good thing. Until recently. I realized that I was creating impossible goals for myself and others. I've had this book for a while, but hadn't been ready to read it. A couple of weeks ago, I picked it up. I was amazed! How did they get inside my head? I finished it this past week and had a chance to put the tips in it to use yesterday. I said something to a friend that I thought was true about myself, then I thought, "Wait a minute, that's way off!" I then rephrased what I had said in a more realistic manner. I was so proud of myself! I took these tools and put them to positive use. It felt wonderful. I'm not one to read self-help books, but I learned something useful with this one and I'm glad I gave it a chance.

By The Way, I Have Depression. No Big Deal.

I had a meeting yesterday with my two partners and a couple of local law enforcement officers. It was just a regular day. Much better than the day before.

After the meeting, we were standing around talking about a recent law enforcement suicide. Although the suicide was not a result of depression, but of a triggering event (as is typical with law enforcement suicide) it brought up the topic of depression and mental illness.

In a nonchalant, matter of fact way, I said, "I deal with depression, blah, blah, blah." It was no big deal. I said it just like it was nothing to be ashamed of...to a couple of cops!

I can't tell you how good it felt to just say it. I'm not trying to hide it, I'm not trying to make an issue out of it, it's just a fact of my everyday life. Some people have migraines, some have depression. I fall into the depression category.

I feel like it was a huge step for me. I've come to accept depression as a part of my life. I'm fighting it out in the open now.

Dona Nobis Pacem

As much as I wish for peace for our planet and our country, I know I cannot contribute to this until I find peace within myself.

Grant Us Peace.

Grant Me Peace.

Keeping Up With Life

Is is really November already? Wow. It feels like it was just yesterday I was trying to squeeze in pool time or deck time and now the holidays are upon us.

I'm not sure how the holidays will be for me this year. Since losing my boy Sebastian, everything feels odd. I love our new kitty, Harvey, but my bond with Seb was special. I can't believe he isn't with me anymore.

My grief over losing Sebastian has created some confusion with me in regards to my depression. It was hard for me to tell the difference between the two. After a little time had passed after Seb went over the Rainbow Bridge, I realized that I was feeling "normal" again. It came as quite a surprise to me. I had forgotten what it felt like to not feel depressed. However, times would come along when I would feel sadness over Sebastian and it would scare me. I felt like I was slipping into the darkness again. Instead of lasting for days at a time, though, it would slow me down for a day, then things would feel normal again.

Work has been easier and I'm feeling better about my performance there. I've been able to do more around the house as well. It's hard to believe how happy I am to make dinner AND clean up the kitchen! So yes, I would say that I'm keeping up with life. I hope it continues and I hope I can enjoy the holidays as much as I normally do.