I had a meeting yesterday with my two partners and a couple of local law enforcement officers. It was just a regular day. Much better than the day before.
After the meeting, we were standing around talking about a recent law enforcement suicide. Although the suicide was not a result of depression, but of a triggering event (as is typical with law enforcement suicide) it brought up the topic of depression and mental illness.
In a nonchalant, matter of fact way, I said, "I deal with depression, blah, blah, blah." It was no big deal. I said it just like it was nothing to be ashamed of...to a couple of cops!
I can't tell you how good it felt to just say it. I'm not trying to hide it, I'm not trying to make an issue out of it, it's just a fact of my everyday life. Some people have migraines, some have depression. I fall into the depression category.
I feel like it was a huge step for me. I've come to accept depression as a part of my life. I'm fighting it out in the open now.