Sunday, November 4, 2012

Dona Nobis Pacem

As much as I wish for peace for our planet and our country, I know I cannot contribute to this until I find peace within myself.

Grant Us Peace.

Grant Me Peace.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Keeping Up With Life

Is is really November already? Wow. It feels like it was just yesterday I was trying to squeeze in pool time or deck time and now the holidays are upon us.

I'm not sure how the holidays will be for me this year. Since losing my boy Sebastian, everything feels odd. I love our new kitty, Harvey, but my bond with Seb was special. I can't believe he isn't with me anymore.

My grief over losing Sebastian has created some confusion with me in regards to my depression. It was hard for me to tell the difference between the two. After a little time had passed after Seb went over the Rainbow Bridge, I realized that I was feeling "normal" again. It came as quite a surprise to me. I had forgotten what it felt like to not feel depressed. However, times would come along when I would feel sadness over Sebastian and it would scare me. I felt like I was slipping into the darkness again. Instead of lasting for days at a time, though, it would slow me down for a day, then things would feel normal again.

Work has been easier and I'm feeling better about my performance there. I've been able to do more around the house as well. It's hard to believe how happy I am to make dinner AND clean up the kitchen! So yes, I would say that I'm keeping up with life. I hope it continues and I hope I can enjoy the holidays as much as I normally do.