Thursday, May 24, 2012

Healing Can Surprise You

The most devastating thing about the fire was that I lost my precious pets' ashes. When I lost them it was like I lost my pets all over again. I often think that if I could go back and do one thing different, I would grab their urns instead of my gun and badge.

One person was able to ease the pain a bit. My friend Dorian reminded me that they were always in my heart and they would always be where all the love was.

Today, I think I found my way to healing my broken heart. Sadly, it came from someone else's loss, but life is funny that way. A kitty named Parker went Over the Rainbow Bridge after a battle with cancer. Her owner posted an essay on her blog that was a twist on Ben Hur Lampman's "Where To Bury a Dog." I cried all the way through, but they were tears of healing.

I may not have the ashes and collars of my OTRB pets anymore, but I still hold them in my heart. They are with me forever that way.

Thank you Parker. May you run free OTRB without pain.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Progress Despite Devastation

Many of you already know about the apartment fire that we experienced back in February. The entire building was completely destroyed and we lost everything. I was able to get our pets out safely so we still have our little family. That is truly all that matters.

Surprisingly, the tragedy didn't cause any setbacks in my emotional issues. I guess I must handle a crisis well, because I expected my mood to become very dark, but it never did. In fact, since the fire, I have only experienced two depressed days and two days with unexplained anxiety.

The fire has certainly given me a new perspective. Things may not always be there-it's the memories that you need to hold onto tightly. I know that good will come out of the devastation. In fact, it already has. I've seen so much kindness and caring, not just from friends, but from complete strangers, too. It has warmed my heart and I promise to pay it forward.

I've never been one to step outside of my comfort zone. I'm trying to do a bit more of that. I'm hoping that it will help me in my journey out of darkness as well as live a fuller life.

I can't thank everyone enough for all that they have done for us. Thank you notes are (slowly) getting sent out, but the words seem to fall short. I hope that by living a life of gratitude, happiness and helping others, that will in some way show my thanks.