As I sat in the bathroom with him, watching his labored breathing, I knew neither he nor I could go on like that. I didn't want to give up, but I couldn't let him linger any longer.
I know that the decision I made to help him to the Rainbow Bridge was the right one. It still feels completely unfair to me, though.
We only had two years together. He was only nine years old. He didn't get to move into the house I promised him and we eventually bought. I didn't get to have him there to cuddle with on the hard days. Funny, the times I needed him the most to comfort me were the days that were a struggle because I missed him so much.
I know as pet owners, this is what we have to go through. This loss has been so much harder on me though. I've told people that as hard as the fire was, I'd rather go through that 10 times than have to lose my Sebastian.
My heart still feels ripped apart. The emptiness is sometimes a dull ache, sometimes a quick sting, and other times an acute pain that seems to be unending.
I've had friends who have recently lost beloved pets. I pray for them that they don't grieve the way I have, that they find comfort quicker than I have.
Although the emotions are still raw, I'm ever so grateful to have had such an amazing soul in my life. I was blessed with a muse, a friend, and a daily comfort. As much as it hurts, I wouldn't go back and not have that precious boy in my life to avoid the pain.
We'll meet again someday. It will feel like forever to me, but for him it will happen in the blink of an eye. Then we'll spend eternity together.
